Today, If I may say, I am THE proud owner, of Lost in Translation. Despite all difficulty.

Quotes or photo's for the days! I SAY

Instead of always waiting and wanting why aren't we creating, and making these ever so simple things happen?
"Don’t base your decisions on the advice of people who don’t have to deal with the results."

I don't even think you could DEAL with my results anyways, it's always been easier for you to be living thinking you were correct but what if I understand this point of you, and jumble that around like I did every other aspect of your life? Then what would you do? You'd have a hard time living it down, that's what.

I won't see this as revenge, even though it tickles me.

There was this one time, I was driving down the road, and there were these trees, they were so perfectly aligned, and the light went through the spaces in between, and turned into such a deep darkness, I thought it was kind of eerie, then, I also saw three children running into those woods, I can't get that frame out of my head, or the desire for having a camera at the said time. The kids running in to the woods, were just as eerie, i'd never been so curious as to what they were doing, or even if they knew how magical it looked!

I don't think anyone saw it as i did, anyways.



Did you know when a butterfly lands on you, It's good luck?
'well, when I was younger my mom would always say that she used to sit in the grass, all day.'
'she sat in the grass waiting for butterflies to land on her, you know why?'
'because it's good luck, and my father wasn't the nicest man'


But, ever since then a better soul has
touched my life
in between, and I have always
lived with this thought since.

This blog isn't really even about my day, its where i've been, who i've been, sometimes i believe its possible to not even see things with your own eyes for a while, like its possible to look at light coming out of a window, and not really be human, when waking from a dream. I see the sunshine coming in through my windows, and lighting my ceiling, and its like the first time its ever happened always.








Cheers to being the rainbow around someones cloud. The blade of grass as another is dancing free, or the dancing free, and free to be. The vanilla that settles at the bottom, the tummy ache of too many cups of coffee. The red nose, from the cold winter and weathers. The butterfly landing on your shoulder, the strike of luck that comes from within. Being within yourself, the little cracks in your foundation when you realize you are all you will ever need. Or the 'You' in the 'You are all I need'. Or the seed, and stem of something planted, The lone sunflowers I can only hope will live. The tired eyes, and unsaid words. Or everything you've ever heard all over again. Inflated lips, or the noise of a ring on the phone. The 'love' of all your I love yous. That last hazy thought before you go to sleep, and the first blurred vision when you awake. The breaths you take, all the stupid food you're trying to eat so that finally you won't feel like shit, the feeling of shit, the feeling of happiness, the inspiring parts of movies, A book you can't help but read over and over. The goals on your list you have completed, and the ones you have not. The intro to a song, or the lone intro because its the only part you like. Or the song you don't even like anyways, or your favorite song. The bubbles in the bathtub, the kitties lingering above, the pages of your journal, the purple pin ink, the flow of color in your hair, the drop of rain as its living to die, the blue swirl, all the places you've ever wished you could be. the yellow on the petals of a flower, the beauty when something is new, the downfall and crash of being too content, the good of your karma, and certainly the bad, all the things you've said that didn't make sense, the needle of the earings you wear every day, the hair thats in the floor, the light thats filling the room, the fragrance of the nag, the heat and flame of the candles, the chill of the cold fingers, that crecendos of zachs voice in singing splendor, and the very element of your weird, strange personality, going along with all of our affections.
(& every indie movie that has ever changed your life)

'I love to be alone. I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude. '









How is it so easy to feel beautiful, just when someone pushes the hair behind your ears? It makes me FEEL beautiful, I didn't say look beautiful, no not at all, I could look like an elf, or rat on crack who knows. But, at least I feel good you know?

• Beirut in concert before I die, and many times at that.
• Make a story book

• Don't kill my plant.

usually.. dreams change my life.
like last nights, i'd never slept so soundly.

this is literal, by the way.
i don't know where it started, or where it ended.
But, its paris. these shabby, but still eloquent apartments are connected through
each other by wine gates. so i'm supposing that we all loved wine, and didn't mind sharing it.
but I'm in the car with a few other heads, driving and pointing and being fascinated by everything
around me, there's a cliff, with the most crystal clear looking tropical waters, but as i look away that huge cliff turns into a huge tree with a road paved on top of it. theres a winding tree with the most amazing looking moss growing on it. AND all of these flower trees! As i'm walking with you in the spring, and realizing i am in love and everything is blooming, and I feel hot air around me, blowing on my skin. It just FEELS so nice! then retreating back, and eating in a bathtub?

it was a story, and it was SO real.

I can't keep my mind from it!
and i was thinking.. as i was using the bathroom..
since energy is never distroyed, (and these are just questions and ramblings.. I have my own theories) (and I know this is a funny thing to think about on the toilet) where does a humans energy go after death? is it recreated into another birth happening at the same time? do we live this cycle until every energy is spent? WHERE DOES IT GO? where does love energy go? when everythings been lost, or where do things go when they are forgotten? does someone else remember at the very same time? these are just basic questions with even more detail to them than what i've written.

Oh, and I saw luna's white lover, artemis today, he is such a beautiful little cat. I wonder what his real name is!

You were born inside of a raindrop
I watched you falling to your death
And the sun, well she could not save you
She'd fallen down too, now
the streets are wet

Body of water
Toxic and timeless
Atlantic ocean
New York skyline
I always get lost
When I leave the village
So I couldn't come meet you
In Brooklyn last night

But I sing glory from my lowest
And I will say peace to
the people I meet
While the world waits for an explosion
That instant of life
That wipes the slate clean

So don't be fooled
No don't get lied to
Love was always cruel

~**~~~

My stomach is acheing.

I'd really like to watch Lost in Translation.
I've been craving that movie, is that even possible? I don't know.
I really just love scarlet johanson, and especially and particularly Bill Murray.

Or just how its not even so much a romance, and its just two people at entirely different places in their lives coming together. I'm not here giving a detailed review

I just remember the first time I saw it, It was 6 in the morning, I hadnt gone to bed.. The ending of summer it was sunny, yet still foggy outside, I sat in my living room floor just intently peering in this movie, and the ending song 'just like honey' had totally sent me soaring off like some movies do. Where you feel such a welling happiness inside of you, that it drives you entirely insane from the type of inspiration you feel.

Or walking around barefoot that very same week with Marrea, another sunny summer day, finding things and little bottles in the lakes sand beds, and just walking around in general and laying in the grass painting on rocks we'd stole from parking lots. Just the summer sun, and dresses and not really caring about much except for feeling free. Like we do.

I mean, I love feeling free. Last night I was free, free to spin around barefoot in my front lawn when it was raining. I love the smell of rain, I was talking to mark about the earthworms in michigan (+ places with such climates) walking home or just walking around puddles with the millions of little earth worms inside, just festering really. It just has such a distinctive smell.

I am cold, other than that, I'm completely wonderful.

drunk, and in a funk and all i know is that
i don't fucking care, that i actually care, that you're not there
not for hugs or comfort, or conflicts and topics confronted,
only 2 deep, but within the secrets you kept it eases the pain,
just a little bit stronger, if only id know a little bit sooner, and
shown it for a little bit longer.

i'm being left for someone 3 times as shitty, and the pains still hitting
the cavities of where my heart once existed, and haunted by all the feelings
i fucking resisted. I know you needed it and I couldnt have been more blind
but fuck don't leave me alone, and behind. god, give me a sign, i prayed for a
chance to be great, but instead i sleep.

The storm is coming but I don't mind
People are dying, I close my blinds

All that i know is I'm breathing now

I want to change the world...instead I sleep
I want to believe in more than you and me

~*~

These are not necessarily here for my 'amazing' talent in photoshop,
because.. that's non-existent.

I can't wait until our words are alike.
but I still kind of enjoy the fact that my mind can't piece
words together like you, its like you have your own puzzle of words,
where the pieces fit, and mine otherwise would not.

i think the tips of my fingers do need to stop freezing and falling off?

i do have a, grinch-stole-christmas heart. you wait and SEE! I challenge you.

dialing your number just
to hang the fuck up, what am I supposed to say?
am I supposed to tell you I was wrong? because I was.
am I supposed to tell you that you were right? well, you weren't

Its your fault too, so why am I the only one hurting?
you've done things to me, no lover should ever do. But, I let you.

I get carried away.

you're in boston.

i could bet the seats were cold when you sat on them,
i bet you felt kind of awkward as someones glance kept coming your way,
i bet you looked, and then looked away.
probably several times.
i bet you spent most of the time looking at your hands, and moving your feet.
i bet you laughed with your teeth out,
i bet you're looking out the window.
i bet that there is snow.
maybe your hearts bursting, and longing.
maybe like mine is right now.

but heres the twist, what if..
you were sitting there, waiting in the station
and I walked on.
what if you never even knew me, at all.
what if someone so perfect for me was really
just on the bus, close by?
what if.. i just sat right next to you..
and put my hand on your leg, and smiled at you?
you would smile back, and you'd look at me
in the way i don't know, but can only imagine.
then i'd kiss you.
we'd be happy.
its not like this really, but i know when you get home
whether i'm next to you or not, we're watching the
squid and the whale.

it doesn't change the fact that i feel like i've met you a thousand and a 1/2
times over again. all in different ways, i guess with each life i live and die,
there's always a you.. coming into the picture.
its kind of fascinating, don't you think?

..and we'd be happy.

all i want is some coffee, and the veggie burgers
i got last night, and i'll be fine.. until night-time..
when i start playing my music loud,

filling my room with smoke,
and making things come to life.
i don't know why night time inspires me so, but it
does. maybe its because i don't have to look at the dead
trees outside.

i really do have a terrible headache.

Saturday | January 10, 2009

I had a dream, and Im telling you so, because you'd never really know what it was if I hadn't
so there you go!

I could hear children laughing, I remember there were little stones everywhere. Everything was lit with moonlight sort of, like the moon hung high in the sky. Off of a building there was a mechanical dragon, roaring. A woman yelled out her window at me, telling me to come into her home. All I can remember is a green entryway, walking through with reds and purples all over the walls. I came over to the last room, and she was on the telephone, with a man. I guess I knew this man, but he never said his name. She was an asian something or other.. I couldn't even call her human really, and I loved her. I layed in her floor playing with a glass pipe that looked like a creature Id never even saw before. She had moon and star wind chimes hanging from her ceiling, and her walls were orange .She was sitting in a chair and I can remember her smiling at me, It was so strange. But, I started laughing.

I still feel like I'm in a dream.

Friday | January 09, 2009

How i'd love to hop a plane,
hope a train, see what you see,
with the fantastic lights, and a
city so lonely. If only..

Thursday | January 08, 2009

art on coffeecups.

Never become tied up in what you are, or who you think you may be,
because we are all just beings, of many things. live your life considering the
many possibilities, including what you may be after this life.

Tuesday | January 06, 2009

WHY DONT YOU EVER DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF

GO OUT AND DO SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF
GO LIVE YOUR LIFE
SHED THE WEIGHT OF YOUR MISTAKES HANGING ON YOUR BACK CAUSING PAIN TO THOSE AROUND YOU

I've never felt so enthralled, shaking, angry. I feel what your saying.
Today is rain, against the windows. To day is the song 'Buckets of Rain' by Bob Dylan

I been meek
And hard like and oak
I seen pretty people disappear like smoke
Friends will arrive friends will disappear
If you want me honey baby
I'll be here.

I like your smile
And your fingertips
I like the way that you move your lips
I like the cool way you look at me
Everything about you is bringing me
Misery.

Little red wagon
Little red bike
I ain't no monkey but I know what I like
I like the way you love me strong and slow
I'm taking you with me honey baby
When I go.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~`
I feel it, my god I feel life changing. This is amazing.
I'm an unstoppable force, i'm flying away, I am the product
of mistakes, and things i wish had stayed.
I'm the feeling in your fingertips as they tingle, from the paper
thats taking you out, out and away from all the things you
wish you had fucking done before, but we're too scared.
but i'm not scared, i'm strong and unaware.
That i am actually aware of what this is actually about.

Thursday | January 01, 2009

ReSoLuTioN

I guess I hope to not feel.. so god damn lonely.
there you have it.

Happy 2009.

& songs about werewolves, and wolves.
And I've now i've been shuffled in, to a world I honestly do not know.

I know nothing of this place, but I know where I'm at, Who I am, and Where I've been.

Oh, I love midnight, and watching fireworks off of a mountain, slightly buzzing from a bottle
of champagne. Slightly buzzing on a few blunts, but fuck everyone with their someone to kiss.
Standing there kind of like almost laughing, as i see everyone falling in to each other.
I have no idea what its like on New Years.

Sunday | December 28, 2008

And-be's

'you have vanished like a cloud'
its raining tonight, im in a room of pale dimmed light
trying to get your hair right. the rhyme wasn't intentional
but it's okay.

i think one of the most frustrating things is being stuck between
a color choice. its like writers block, and forgetting a word or name for
something. yes, that frustrating when you are so focused in.

i am dwelling i did find my color, hair blue, with reds and oranges in between.
i'm pleased. but no where near finished. how do you draw 'graceful eyes'?

i'm a blue swirl, dancing around in the air.
if i could really be anything right now.


The And-be's
I awoke in the middle of the night, to rain singing. Rejoicing as it hit the cool earth.
As I started to jump out of bed, I realized I had no feet. Then, no arms in front of me.
I was free, as wind to twirl and be. I was a blue swirl waving, and dancing in the air. I slipped under the cracks and crevices of my faltered foundation, taking time to realize the living creatures in between. Saying hello, as they lived their days. Saying goodbye, as they left to dream. They were free, to dream and be. Fluent in the twists of my wispy silhouette, I leaped into the raindrops. Curled up in the realm of living and dreaming, I lived in the dreams of those I knew. Marking their minds with the essence of blue. The raindrops faded slowly, vanishing like gray clouds above my head. The sun was rising, and I was smiling. Greeting it also, and thanking it for its warmth. My skin felt as if champagne were poured over it, in an effervescent wave. In the puddles I saw the eyes of humans waking from their slumber. With a similar twinkle and reflection in their eyes, I saw the blue swirl manifesting in the color of their eyes. They would remember, the minds of those who venture farther than the universe, and refuse to only just exist.. The And-be's. Free to dance, free to disappear, see the rain.. 'and be'.

By; me ;)
hope you enjoyed.

Wednesday | December 24, 2008

i wish i had friends here.
nothing will replace the ones i've had.
that's why its so damn hard.

but merry christmas world.

Wednesday | December 17, 2008

will i still be creating these stories with you in mind, and in rooms space?
you know at least you fucking understand.. what it means to understand what someone is pouring to you,
a cup of good fucking ideals, dreams far beyond anything, oceans and seas with depths still pending,
meaning over flowing the bubble bath your taking. you play with the images my words make you think. little fingers creating pictures. No bullshit your damn good at what you do, your sarcasm is pretty, i just want to touch the beauty its made on your soul, and creases of face.

id give anything to be with your spaghetti-o self. as i said a 3 year olds meal of choice. Oh, and mine too!
no, i fuck you not.

Tuesday | December 16, 2008

beirut,
loose leaf---
*~colored pencils,
and mexican dancing mushrooms.
tonight is great.

candles turning into sherbet clouds in your bedroom.

Saturday | December 13, 2008

I am two different people.
I am terrible at both.
I am at opposite sides of the country.
Barely existing in the pair of different coordinates
I am anguished
I just feel like everyone's not real,
like beautifully made Japanese sex dolls..
that make you think your missing out in this great
big thing called 'life'.
Its all inconsistent.
I realize how things change, and how short things are.
I realize that I wish I didn't realize that.
When I get on that plane, I will cry.
Although, I'm not able to tell why it hurts like this.
I just should have said no.

I wish these plastic people would come to life..
just for a second so I had a friend.. just to.. belong to.


fuck.

Wednesday | December 10, 2008

flowers.

I've decided to get a flower on the nape of my neck,
I don't know which is fitting. If I were a flower, I'd smell like warm skin.
laced with nag champa and pachoulli, left-over vanilla coffee, with vanilla perfume
underneath.

I'd never settle with anything less than I planned, always
wanting to be someones sunflower, bright and lanky in the summer air.
but, It's tolerable enough to be a tiger lily. Princess Tigerlily, but never the
girl who didn't get peter pan. Loving you fully, in a selfless manor, oblivious to
what you have to offer in exchange.

I cannot teach you how to love my dear, but I can show you love. Maybe you
would in turn grow from it. What flower would you be? Planting your seed delicately in
warm soil, next to me. What would the smell be on your neck? Would your petals be
soft hands texture? what color would you be? I always saw something so golden in you.

well.. its faery books, and cold weather.
I wouldn't mind settling for a nice cup of coffee, and a phone call.

Monday | December 08, 2008

no one knows the trouble i see, the trouble i see, the trouble i see.

Saturday | November 15, 2008

earthworms

My birthdays in 3 days, the most
strange and golden of birthdays.
Im so interested in what is is you could possibly
be sending me! I hope its just you in a box with
a bow. Id kiss every part of you, as you were being
unwrapped.

I have to go to the post office tomorrow though,
i cannot hold it off longer. i'll walk there.
its been kind of gloomy the past few days,
but its still got that familiar smell i was talking about before,
..you know that smell of dirt, fresh rain, moisture, as the earthworms
come out to play in the little puddles that have taken over the soaked
earth?
and tonight the sky has been pinkish purple, with lightning.
I wanted a storm, I got it. A night storm specifically.

Tonight would be the perfect night to drink all the troubles away,
id really just lay in the rain without a care.




the airborne toxic event - sometime after midnight
what a beautifully sad and terrific song.
check it, bands got talent.

Thursday | November 13, 2008

"Sadness is easier because it's surrender. I say make time to dance alone with one hand waving free. "

oh, yes.

This 5 am morning was romantic,
calm and still and raining, I forgot where I was with the familiar
smell. Singing beatles hits, and snuggled in a blanket

It rains harder when I think about you.
With my mental impressions, despite my discretion..
I can't stop thinking about you.
The lights behind your blanket, will be better than any stars in
the sky. But, if you'd like to, we can watch the time go by.

Instant coffee has such a strange taste.. I'm not complaining
its just.. peculiar.
You wondered if I ever wrote about you.. I guess you know now huh?

"oh, such a prima donna, so sorry for myself"
well, thats done and over with. I refuse to let it take hold of me
another day. Its time to.. well complete another list of goals.
I'm really not THAT alone. Im very pleased with my mood,
and just myself in general.. today.

Wednesday | November 12, 2008

im stupid, everything points to your disinterest in caring at all.


that is all.

Monday | November 10, 2008

the cursive writing in pink directly corresponds to the secrets ive written upon the wall.

I have a soundtrack for this winter,
a new winter, thats not really that cold.
Used to the chills, and bittersweet nastalgia which makes
the incoming snow in michigan worth while.

I still havent found my place here,
I don't know the love of christmas without white
painting the ground.

alabama is strange,
i dont know if im able to take it,
Im lazy and dirty and way too warm,
all my money will be given to a week with you.
traveling a place that is not familiar to me.

ive gotta have you,
ive gotta have you.

Friday | November 07, 2008

I think my hearts breaking in a thousand pieces,
do you know how you picked up my pieces?

From that very moment, where the cold night air,
reflecting on the lake, and really saying how ive been,
and how you listened?

Its hit me just now so hard,
what lifes like without you, what it would be like
if i didnt have you..

i love you in so many ways, it couldnt be explained,
i know you must understand, what will i do..

your the very inspiration to every flame,
you dont even try.. your just there,
im not trying to feed pathetic bullshit,
just promise to always be in my life.

ive never had a friend as good as you.

Tuesday | October 14, 2008

334455

My hopes are so high,
that your kiss might kill me.

It has never been so true.

Friday | September 12, 2008

I have been saved from dying on the cross by a lady who smokes pot writes songs and stories and is much kinder than the last, much much kinder, and the sex is just as good or better.

Thursday | September 04, 2008

Lay lady lay, lay across my big brass bed.

His clothes are dirty but his hands are clean,

And you’re the best thing he’s ever seen.

We layed and fell into eachother speaking of subjects almost too painful for us to bare,

Why do we torture ourselves? The floor was hard, but you made everything so comforting. I thought you we’re beautiful. As always, to me.. you were only that.

That’s what made it hard to get away, and you knew it too. Miles away, I cant get away.

736, to be exact. It was the first time I’d put my attention to that song. Now it can do nothing, but remind me of your like eyes, blue and excited.

I never noticed the way you look at me, or the way you rush to comfort me, when

My worlds crashing down, anything in your power to do, you do. And you do it so well.

You’re in my dreams.. and also the ones when im not sleeping. I just love that awkward grace, and squinted eyes, cigg in hand, walking towards me, style about you. The trees never forgave me, the pebbles never forgave me, but somehow you did.

Everything is so simple with you, while im out searching for the cures of everything

That makes me weak. I hear you, cooling me, caressing me, pushing my tresses and stray hair behind my ears, making me feel beautiful, in bare natural nature. And we laugh, as if we’ve never heard anything funnier together. Its almost sick, and frivolous, our humor comes together, and my stomach tightens so viciously to the nonstop laughter. Ive really never been happier. I follow the line as it wraps around my hand, leading to my heart line. And I find you, my hairs in my face, please push it back. I know it may be impossible to make your fingers gently touch my face from this far away.

How could I ever deserve something so wonderful, and gorgeous? Not after my unexplainable mistakes. But its with every breath I take, that I feel that certain love. Sending me beyond the worries of the natural born world. Its okay baby, don’t think twice its alright.

I love you. I do.

p.s- who the fuck is fred bear anyways? I mean really..

I was scared, but my fear is blind. Maybe, going to his grave would ease my failure to believe he is gone.. or in my dreams I could embrace the fact that his presense is in them. Im tired of waking in tears, and screaming “you’re dead” in my dreams. Wherever you are, and however you are.. and whatever leaving earth may be like.. I think we’re connecting away from my waking life. I know it sounds crazy, but I did write a letter when I finally get to see my dad’s grave. I hope for once, I accept you in my dreams. Time is, so slow going here. I mean I guess you’d think an hour behind.. wouldn’t be so much. But it is, the nights are longer. And the warm weather.. stays, and stays.. but I think its great.. the air is different. The way the wind feels when its cool is separate from michigan, it could only be alabama. Speaking of, little river canyon, is an amazing place. I went there this weekend.. the waterfalls were amazing. I am so excited to go hiking there, and to know how beautiful (other than what it already is) in autumn. I just keep noticing things, all the things I never say. I feel like my thought processes, and theoretical ramblings are almost like im writing in a book, or in this very journal entry. So really.. im not trying to sound good. Im currently sweating. And how lovely that is, ive been dancing and cleaning in my room. If anyone were to see my through these almost transparent window coverings, would have to think I was absolutely crazy. Luna had her kittens, and they are beautiful. Now she is back to jumping up walls and playing chase around the house with me. Im still kind of lonely, family is amazing. But I havent really met anyone my age to peak my interest. Im really scared ill never find anyone, that I think is like me.. people are desperate for finding or thinking they really connect and are alike with someone. I don’t want to connect, I want to find someone like me.. and ill probally dislike them. That’s not usual for me to do, but people say you HATE people exactly like you. Hahah The song on now, by a fine frenzy.. reminds me of last year this time, I hate looking back, but love the nostalgia. You always think.. what if nothing will ever be the same?? Its strangely beautiful when things are different, and when they arent at all. Or maybe in between. Because you know, I may just look at this exact moment a year from now, and miss it too, and feel the same. You always have yourself, so never get lost.. or take yourself too seriously.. I really do miss dancing in a minefield with you, with a bottle of whiskey. (Im out for a cigg) this train it goes this way, tonight it can’t go back. (Ryan Adams- Come pick me up) an elizabethtown favorite. Because im triad for sleeping instead. What do you remember of me, what will you always?

Friday | July 11, 2008

FAding away is not real, you only create it.

Sunday | April 20, 2008

i see you with my heart.
i only look at you with my eyes

Thursday | April 10, 2008

to whom do i get to share my meaningful mind garbage to??!

everyone wants something to sweep them off of their feet, and theres points in time..
when life.. or just a person does that. but, where do we go, from the euphoria of love,
some cheap thrill, until its over, and you're the broken rollercoaster. thoughts and feelings
could never shift up and down so easily if not for love. leaving me paralyzed, not hypnotized.
leaving me, hypnotized.. but not paralyzed. or maybe sometimes we
all just.. search so hard. Want only certain things, and throw them away with everything else
that isnt perfect about a human being. im being harsh, .
for everything you did and didnt say.. wanted to.. but didnt anyways.

and for everything you did, that left me in a trance, so oblivious.
for everything you did, and said.. to make me feel so small, and obsolete.
or for the safety of being so small, when youre so big, and absolute.

i really dont know where to go from here.


so i guess, ill just
... be really excited, to write, and sing more songs.
REALLY. we're bustin out:P!

Sunday | March 30, 2008

la da da!

We want what we cannot grasp. In time, patience pays off. We grow less tall, as if that means anything at all. Our age overcomes us, our identities become us. We dream for far more, and with inspiration we are able to achieve just that. Its love, that makes our bones,

And wide eyes so lovely. We appeal to another heart, we conceal our hopes that someone

Will save us. But someone, will.. save us in the end. Ive got a smile like the brightest stars, wish on me.

its now, that i realize im up too long, and my eyes cannot fall asleep.
its the most invigorating feeling, running on dry energy, wheres my cup of coffee?
its time to experience the cold sunset.

Wednesday | March 26, 2008

woke up this early morning, in a funk.
i cant sleep, coffees greeting me.
staying away from nicotene, but it goes so
perfectly.

alcohol burned from last nights party,
im not too alone right now..
im trying not to be
i dont want to be lonely anymore.

Monday | March 10, 2008

The walls, and blocks, fell down. And led me to you,

The la mar, set a good soundtrack for how id be in contact.

Because were all made up of beautiful girls.

But you showed me, our beautiful minds.

And ever since then, a shift in my stomach, has changed my mind

Forever. A shift in the wind, wispered your name, so sweetly id never know

What this zephyr of a direction in life would spin me.

But years later, something aches inside, and calls for the gentile comfort of conversation.

Before the dark, stupid, wintery sting loomed into my chest, making me cold, and angry.

Which doesn’t dress me up right at all, because id never worn those clothes before.

And I refuse to now, but in this case I guess it comes down to shedding skin.

I always thought I knew what to do, but now I finally do.

I hope to go to that little house in your mind made of ideas and dreams,

And stay there a lot.. a little for a little while..

And I intend to, even if my hearts not on my sleve,

Even though to an extent, my brain will be pouring its thoughts to you.

And in turn the thoughts, that come from my heart.

So either way, im giving it to you. Strangly I don’t really mind,

The best part is ….

Well, I guess im the only one to know.

Saturday | February 23, 2008

i just cant.
all your doing is getting closer and closer,
and, i dont know what you say when im not around.
i dont know what you do when im not around, the worst part is i dont
want to know.

im going to end this before i get hurt,
i know im second best in this.

Tuesday | February 19, 2008

I wish i could get out of the mood, where i dont care if i offend you.
or possibly to keep my sarcasm at bay, but at this point in time,
cynicism and satire, are cultivating my mind.

Friday | February 15, 2008

Intellectualisation: Excessive abstract thinking to avoid confrontation with disturbing feelings.

haha.. i guess your right freud.

Wednesday | February 13, 2008

wanting something more out of this,
more out of life, more activity.
more anything and everything i guess.

ugh so fucking high, high above the clouds
in the dream aura, that rises above my bed and
makes a lava lamp on my ceiling.
shifting colors, tricking my mind in the dark.

in a better state today though,
coffee, ciggs and cartoons in the morning
simultaneously followed by a wake and bake.
im awake.

blue flowers

Friday | February 08, 2008

blue flowers

Today, I was in the hospital again for cancer. or the unforgetable "cupcake"
It was a scary place. The stairs are inclined, in such a way that there are spaces in between walls. almost like a labyrinth, You could hear everything, and anything.

I sat in that bed for as long as I can remember, taking notice to the little cracks and spaces in the
mesa walls. something was strange, and beautiful in this. All i wanted to do was escape,
but I was encamped, And with one breath, flowers of blue, Shiane. mystified at their growth from the walls,
supporting my mind whirling into euphoria from the scent of their luminence
And your waiting on me, it seems ive been lying here for days, in a dream. But you come in, and take my hand so willingly.
My sicken body, becomes reclaimed. In some kind of eternal light. We escape the stairs, with spaces in the walls. and Find a passage way, into a place.. where we belong.

I was away, I was free. Playing sleep, as we danced. (Fancy the title)
"Nobody's lost but nobody wins And I cant sleep, I cant speak to you, I cant sleep And so i'm reaching out for the one
And so i've learned the meaning of the sun And all this like a message comes to shift my point of view And watching through my own light As it tints the shade of you Hold my wine hold it in no bodys lost but no body wins
And I can't sleep I can't speak to you I can't sleep"
only quickly if you fall, And if you fall, will you get up stuck in a dream, will you wake up
and if youve found love will you hold on to it and if its cold, will you stay warm drift too far, will you swim towards the shore And if you've found love will you hold on to it

lets just sing and we'll fill the air the melodies that blend together i speak so sweet of words so delicate
like the glass I hope will never shatter.. and here we were standing in the middle, of such a beautiful place,
just to my suprise, one id never gone to before. It was simple, not like aurora. The trees stood tall, brilliant red and orange. Screaming in color, as they were forced to sit still. But in this place, the voices and melody stuck, thick against the trunks of trees and we knew how they were feeling.

And then, we were both hearing it. The music, that filled the depths of our minds. You took my hand, I took yours, and looked into your eyes. We danced, not so much dancing, as becoming free with our bodys, our souls out.. and with our hands, they were able to touch. We can be this, for once. Spinning, and spinning, my body came to yours. Truely facinated.. that you are here, in this place, i never thought Id see your face in. I felt your heart, I know your heart doesnt know where mines been, but Im letting your heart, go where mines been.

we were stepping among the leafs, not dead. blue flowers grow beneath our feet, oh, you are the roots that sleep beneath my feet :)Thrived in luminence from the moon, luminate blue. luminate blue. I hear a heartbeat, coming alive in my ears. so intensely.. and the music faded out, and the scenery was rippling like water.. and vanished.. along with the face, id shared my soul with.

My body comes intact
and its at this point I realize..

Its only a dream.

Wednesday | February 06, 2008

alright, so the key to a great life, is imagining it?
right?
but what if i cant, does that mean ill falter through all of this?

i wish, i felt alive, i wish i felt like i had more to say.
but im just numb, and all i want is a ciggarette, and for you to stay.

i cant even begin to let you know, how sorry i truely am,
the stupidest part, is it could have stopped, before it began.

so now, you can color me blue, and get lost in the snow,
but i cant promise you, that i wont follow.

im never too far behind, even though my actions show less,
through all of this, i need to stop doing things, ill regret.

i want you to know, that i love you, both of you,
but in separate ways, is how id like to spend my days.

one as a friend, and one as a lover,
not confusing one with another.
tears, and the worst of lies,
im sorry you had to cry.

its not worth it to feel alone, cornered or afraid.
its my feelings, its my life, and.. when those are together,
comes me needing to tell you both the truth.
and not worrying who ill hurt, because id never want to hurt either of you.
but i did, and im sorry.

Sunday | February 03, 2008

you know what i realize?
i wasnt happy at this point last year,
so loving memories of you isnt possible.
i mean we never saw eachother at this point,
right? ill probally never see you again.

..what a thought,
it makes me kind of ..sad
but you made your choices, i cant stop them
any longer.

if we were to again,
would we be wonderful?

i know ive gotten to the point where
i should just leave you alone,
but i cant, because im not that strong.

Saturday | February 02, 2008

..what your looking for i can in no way give you.
..i cant hurt your feelings, i have a set of morals, ive held onto
..why do people, have such painted faces, what lies underneath of the falseness of their actions?
..intimacy, that i think youre not used to
..change in physical..everything
..id really have rather seen you out of everything
..how worried i was, made me sick to my stomach, im sorry for ignoring you. (well.. not having my phone)
..i dont like how everyone knows your secret, its something so personal to you. why dont people shut their tounges?
..well, that weed was satisfying.
..your best friend said, i should stay away from you. what have YOU turned into?
..unreliability
..happy birthday mom! :]
..sleepyness
..sleeplessness
..rest your weary head
..night sky
..everything
..just everything

Monday | January 28, 2008

poetry.

Sunday | January 20, 2008

haah, when ever you come around i have this thing,
called the laughing disease. your eyes are so mysterious and wonderful, sending me into a whirl of curiousity.
and as i look, butterflys consume me, and i laugh. you ask me why i laugh, but i feel so GOOD!!!

nothing, was ruined for me last ngiht. if anything, you were a human being. and laying down, never moving once, through passing hours. felt wonderful. everything is, you know?
hahha uk accents

youre so fun.
~~~~~~~~~~
in no relevance to the written above:

its funny.. i really thought this was what i wanted..
but you just pushed me to do things, i was scared to do before.
thats what im thanking you for, letting me find myself, and certainly letting me know.
that if you were to leave, like i never wanted. i wont shrivel up and die, ill live,
and ill be happy. because oall i need in the end is me. when all i thought, i needed was you.
its just too bad, that youve changed so much, but hey.. people change right?
you used to be the most fantasmic of all my passion, love, desire, need, dcare..
but now.. well.. who are you?


yeah. thats how im seeing it.

Saturday | January 19, 2008

you really let me down.
if you werent coming, why couldnt you just give me a call and say so?
i mean id be bummed you couldnt come,
but im more bummed you didnt take the time
to just, pick up your phone, dial 7 numbers,
and say SHEA SORRY I CANT COME

instead, its two, i stayed up waiting for you.
stood up stood up.
was i right for questioning?

im willing to give you the love you deserve, cant you just give it back?

Tuesday | January 15, 2008

i feel loved today :)
i gotta lotta blog views
whos been lookin' good lookin?

i feel loved today :)
i gotta lotta blog views
whos been lookin' good lookin?

the four letter word got stuck in my head
the dirtiest word that i've ever said
it's making me feel alright.
for what it's worth i love you
and what is worse i really do

ive got fire in my dreams, and it screams, and screams at me.
szpeaking of all of my fears, showing me something thats not a reality.
a night ago, i held you, so perfectly, falling into your body.
i loved how you fell into mine, soft as petals, and smooth as fine wine.
i like being one with you, mirroring how much i truely love you.

i think imso far gone, in dreaming that i cant grasp the magical reality, you have created
for me once again. i just hope you see me, in the same rose light, that made your hands
and eyes so delicate to mine. what made your love so hard to find

see it, believe it, shea.

Monday | January 14, 2008

i think i like today,
i think its good, i think its something
i can hold onto.

held upon so high, you felt so untouchable, but when i reached forward,
i felt your warm skin, and something inside of me grew in color.
a strange facination, shortness of breath. shortness of breathing at all.

so, mr. redbutterfly, youve flown into me once again.
you know when a butterfly lands on you its good luck?
well.. you were always the luck in my life, the love of my life.
ive fallen so hard into you again, and all i want to do is stay falling from this cliff forever,
looking down at the earth surrounding me. planetary binds no longer holding me,

in a surreal state, of dreaming while awake. with every breath i take,
going deeper, into the layers of your skin. begin.. begin again.
ill let it all out, but please let it all out with me.
stay, and stay like never before, because i will, ill run into you, become one with you.
i love feeling as one with you.


springs not so far away, the sign of a new.
so let me be.. anew with you.

Sunday | January 13, 2008

take it again if you want <3

faint tinge of sound, lighting up the fire that was once in my heart.
what you once made it, what you make of, what youve made of my dreams.

like a beating drum, my body feels weak, to weak to speak, or even
begin to comprehend whats become of whats going on right now.

you came into my life, like a lightning rod, amidst the storm of everything id ruined,
youre still there. some figament of my imagination, came true, when i met you.
but you left me far behind but its alright, i like where we are, here in your arms.
and with all of me, i intend on staying, take it or leave it.

my heart is always yours.



take it again if you want<3

....
......

oh.. i will

Tuesday | January 01, 2008

i saw a wolf with a paw made of heart,
silouhette etched in water of melted snow,
had a conversation with the fellow, to see if
i could know what he knows, wise darling he called me.
couldnt keep my eyes off of the pack on his stomach.
curiousity struck me, as cigarettes enveloped me.
i knew i shouldnt be doing this,
but i could only see him when i closed my eyes! and imagined.

i wish i had a friend, i could holdin my pocket.
and bring out to play. or something liek that.
i just want to meet someone like me, and become inseparable.
just a friend of course.

new year.
i have resolutions
WHERES THE NEW YEARS REVOLUTION? ehhh uhhhh babbyyyy.
ahhaha.
i love eisley.

tomorrow i plan on setting out for my day, with the start of STARBUCKS.
and lovely cold chai.
its my favorite wintersong, wont you sing along?
i was singing this walking home.

ugh my boots get so stuck in the snow. it makes me feel like im meant to stay there.

Friday | December 21, 2007

ive got two weeks to run away,
and the worst feeling is shame, when i look at your page.
jealousy is getting the best of me, i guess you deserve to come out lucky.
and i guess i deserve..
well.. i told you what was happening.. i guess i deserve it.


ps- ill always be with you.

Wednesday | December 19, 2007

2. i love you, flat out for the first time and i meant it.
3. snowy day, and desert

you are the cherry of my desert topping, on this snowy day.
enjoy the flavor, and inhale the smoke.
smile, and let your heart beat, because you are all my heart beats for.


i am so happy, so happy!
i love the letters forming into sentences, that make
up what is so beautiful on your mind.

see you soon love, i cannot wait to be held again.

Wednesday | December 12, 2007

home home home! never really quite feelslike home you know?
everythings so dark in here and i really want to find the place in between the cracks of the wall i know so well,
where the creatures come to play, and take me away. i hope my wings havent been clipped, id love to go between the insilation to find the lovely kingdom that is there. if only you look hard enough, and never blink more than twice.


1. random acts of kindness

Tuesday | December 11, 2007

the quiet screaming

i fall off the cliffs into the edge of the ocean to this song.. and i died to this.

are you as happy as your pretending?

i know what you expect,
i know you think ill falter, i know you think ill fall to the ground,
but its what you dont understand, that all your words, and this world, is just
motivation to the next life. to know if my theories are true, if we are exactly what we expect.

something so simple, something so fragile.
what are we? and are these dimensions correct?

spending that day at the dia, has changed a slight spark of mind for me.
and the weirdest thing is i know what your eyes look like, intently staring into conversation,
what is that? is it.. foggy swampy.. hunter green? who knows but it was somehow overtaken by
the size of your pupil, surrounding in the scent that makes you familiar and i dont know why.
i really dont!

and i know what your expecting too, i know you think some other form of body will be here,
beside me but these days i just feel like the only thing i need is goofy with all her unnoticeable freckles,
i hope shes okay.

i hope ill be okay,
you really did look like god today, walking on the rain covered ice.
i dlove to be looked upon so highly.

why has everything changed so much in a year?
why is everyone saying to me, about how much ive grown up..
do i even want to? why.. why cant i just go back

Thursday | November 29, 2007

whats the cure for my disease?

rid of it riddle/.

in my dreams, and in my sleep
infatuation turning into disease.

orion today with mahh, ugh i just want you to love me back,
why cant you just love me back?
i find riddles interesting enough, and i just feel like writing
a letter to someone ive never known, i want to knwo what they say,
i hope my story would be worth the cause.

what you dont know is that its not your fault, something compells me to push you away,
just so you dont have to deal with me, why do you want to? i cant see how im worth thats what
you dont understand, i cant see it. i cant feel it.
'

sadly; all i know is that i can feel the cold rushing over me.
until your okay,
dont you just love the feeling of my fingertips circling your lips?
i know you do, and all of your desires. i dont knwo how to answer the questions
and riddles proper enough in a form that makes sense.

if i had the choice, id take you.
but id take my best friend.
but honestly..

i think it should be like this, caught in a storm, im with you my love.
i should have my best friend already by my side because shes supposed to be my other half,
i should be three parts whole,
and the old woman should be with whom she loves because noone should be alone.
not when your scared, and i think thats the best answer to a riddle.
is there any solution that would end up, withe verything and everyone, loved? warm.. safe?

Tuesday | November 27, 2007

The last few months I have been living with this couple.
Yeah, you know, the kind that buy everything in doubles. They fit together, like a puzzle.
I love their love and I am thankful that someone actually
receives the prize that was promised by all those fairy tales that drugged us.
And they still do me. I'm sick, lonely, no laurel tree, just green envy.
Will my number come up eventually? Like Love is some kind of lottery,
where you can scratch and see what is underneath. It's "Sorry",
just one cherry, "Play Again." Get lucky.
So I have been hanging out down by the train's depot. No, I don't ride.
I just sit and watch the people there. They remind me of wind up cars in motion.
The way they spin and turn and jockey for positions.
And I want to scream out that it is all nonsense.
And that their lives are one track, and can't they see how it is all pointless?
But then, my knees give under me. My head feels weak and
suddenly it is clear to see that it is not them but me, who has lost my self-identity.
As I hide behind these books I read, while scribbling my poetry,
like art could save a wretch like me, with some ideal ideology that no one can hope to achieve.
And I am never real; it is just a sketch of me.
And everything I have is trite and cheap and a waste of paint, of tape, of time.
Sometimes I park my car down my the cathedral, where floodlights point up at the steeples.
Choir practice is filling up with people. I hear the sound escaping as an echo.
Sloping off the ceiling at an angle. When voices blend they sound like angels.
I hope there is still some room left in the middle.
But when I lift my voice up now to reach them. The range is too high, way up in heaven.
So I hold my tongue, forget the song, tie my shoe and start walking off.
And try to just keep moving on, with my broken heart and my absent God
and I have no faith but it is all I want, to be loved ad believe in my soul.



So here i am, and ive got this desire of all thats lost swelling up in me,
telling me, i should be free. with breakable materials covering me, but defining me,
here lies a stripe of paint, across my cheek, to let you know my wars not won, and i will
not be defeated, no matter what you try to deprive from thee.

going off into the night, hoping to get lost like a wisp, of blue. covering and winding me through,
the sky, as a light into another world. i find someone else in the universe to let me know,
i am not alone.

<3

Saturday | November 24, 2007

everytime i love you, i get fucked over.

tell me you love me, just to leave me.
call me to say things i dont want to hear, just because your in fear, of
the consequences of action, hope that no bad things happen.

but the only fear i have, is being alone. knowing that you were all i had.
and now ill be scared again, with the overwhelming amount of people, that i DONT know.
but you do, and now.. i am nothing to you.

Monday | November 19, 2007

i can hear you calling my name

its faint, still there but.. where are you?
you wouldnt know anything at all.
me at all

ciggarettte.

Posted by Georgia at 16:50:25 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

I am to the fullest, at the highest point on the top of the world,
i cant even say.

the stars were alive, they were so bright, you could see the constellations, so a friend and i sat outside
smoking ciggs, and enjoying it.

1.charka
2. karma
3. constellations
4. paint
5. with your whole body
6. being at one with yourself
7. aspiration
8. making everything better
9. knowledge

ugh i aspire!!!




wow, ending to a birthday but, amazing

Sunday | November 18, 2007

Happy birthday to me!

I love you,
and im scared
and i dont think you know
and i dont think i can tell you
and i dont think im used to the way i feel
and i dont think youll know
how to say, anything in the response
becuase its different, and real and said in
such a way that is more than "i love you" but i do!

i do!

Saturday | November 17, 2007

here through the speakers and whisers

wanting you so bad, is a problem ive had,
and i know that you need me, but it wont come that easy.

i love me looking at you, you looking at me.
first time in a long time i kept that familiar glance,
sensations in my finger tips affecting patterns in my heart and brain,
almost fluently waving through my soul, just as you do.
catching fire, knowing ive caught fire.
ablazed as some would say.

thorugh the doorway, you looked.
a glance frozen in time.
waving waving.

and swirling were the blues of the vividness in color.
vividness, in everthing.

the things you do to me.

Tuesday | October 30, 2007

you pAY attention right now, to everything.
look through all thats personal,
find my thoughts, through whats not yours.
you fucker.

Posted by Georgia at 22:55:06 | Permanent Link | Comments (0) |

liar liar pants on fire,
your words, could make me choke.
beyond what you display to others,
is the hidden magic trick,
prestege, and what no one sees

im sick, so inately sick from all of
what you portray, like a sick painting,
you settle yourself on display,
oh look at you, and how you suffered.
oh look at you, youll love another.
grow up, blow away, within the wind
your emotions seem light, so dim,
and easily shattered.

you like being the victim?
id like to make you one, cut your skin
so deep, warm sticky fluid gashes from your
pathetic body. then you will have your reasons
to bitch, but until then,
youre nothing to me.

Sunday | October 28, 2007

tonight i was an image of the 70's,
and only if i wasnt wearing a costume, it would have
been afabulous dress.
kind of like, in eternal sunshine, but id steall that dress off
of someones back.

one day in my life, ill get one. mm

and i know its bad, but i want everyones life but mine.
i need to suck it up, i need to live, need to laugh..

were all just breakable breakable breakable girls and boys.

life will go on, even if i do not, so i shall live.
and find my emotion in art, because thats when I feel ALIVE.

agh, free spirit, and dolphins in my brain, what a funny joke.
i dont think i was so much offended, as much as i noticed a shift in
one mans conversation.

oh, how i do and do not wish to flatter anyone. whatsoever.
all i think about is love, and i feel like a fool, a dreaded fool.
but, ill stop because if anything.. im feeling like i need no one.
and no thing. only.. this peace of mind, thats obviously lurking around
my head like a cruel joke.
all i need is someone to tell my thoughts to, and listen.
but only with a promise, that they'll never fall in love with me.
god that sounds so terrible, b ut
sometimes i feel like i put a spell on people..
that makes them become dumb in the brain.

bestfriend.

Saturday | October 27, 2007

and i do feel really lost,
and i feel like i have nothing.
everything that defined me is stripped from me now
through mistakes, through everything.
all i really want to do is not think about you,
or it, or us. or the fact that i dont happen to see any
familiar face very often these days. lifes changing like
the leaves of fall, i thought vibrant red was good..
but only when your at their house,
jumping in piles of leaves from the roof.
i have a hangover, but i did then too.
everything is off to simulataneously repeat the life i once had,
want to have, cant have. only in doses may i be torn apart
by sick nostalgia

and i miss you, i miss you so far.
i wish i could smile, and think what i did was right.
but i feel as if, im in this place for a reason, and im going to be
here quite a time. but i cant live with that.. or this.
or anything.

i lost you,
i feel like i lost her,
and i am unknown to everyone.


and you know what?
NO ONE gives a shit.

Tuesday | October 23, 2007

she named the baby elvis,
to make up for all the royalty he lacked.

and well elvis could never carry a tune, and she thought of this
irony as she stared back at the moon.

ive got this irony eating inside of me, and i know what i have to do.
some people would call it running away,
but i dont need anyone, or anything. i just need his voice on the other line..
telling me all he knows what to do in this situation,
to be my friend, and to be there for me. they say they love me, but how can they really know? you know?
yeah i know.. i bet they couldnt be less than a boyfriend to me.

and i know thats bad because theyd tear teh hair from their scalps with this thought,
but if i dont have either, how much pain could they feel?

well i sat down at the table, with a boy at my side, and two on the other end.
boy number one, told me of my past, and my future, all he knew about it, and me..
which is everything.. if your speaking of me. knowing someone for years does that to you.
well he took a sip from his tea, and said "stephanie you know what you need to do"

and i knew it too, so i stated what i needed, and he told me i was right.
but boy number two with a teacup in hand crushed it, as if feeling no cut from the glass.
his eyes turned bloody and with tears he excaimed everything he wanted me to do.
but it wasnt right, it just wasnt. he told me he loved me, and what he wanted.. and i so clearly
want nothing, that he desires. & he doesnt know me like number one does,
i dont even have to be with number one, but he'll still give me a ring,
and number one smiled at me gentily, like he aways does, giving me that sort of look,
because he probally knew what i was thinking. and he waas probally right

that makes me know that, he still loves me like i do.
and boy number three, became jealous at all this attention, indirected at him.
he became mad, and grabbed for my left hand but i pulled away
and said "no, thats not what i want, and need"
you think your what i want and need, but your not, and neither is number two.
number ones, not even my love, but hes there, and imperfectly everything that i seem to need.. and id rather have that, then you two cutting throats.

this has become a competition, who will win my heart?
well you know what i said.. "no one, no one gets this left hand of mine. my cheeks are still youthful and my spirits so bright,skins porcelain, so dont try and break it, remember my hearts not like glass."

the tea party carries on, but boy number one,
gets this look in his eyes, and i cant look past.
i just cant.

Tuesday | October 16, 2007

tell me a story.

woke up this morning, with a dim light shining through.
dreamless sleep, like a loop hole through existance
but of peaceful calm awakening you become alive.

the sun was peering through the window, smiling at you as you were
on your way. way to brighten, the promise of a rainy day.

you tilted your head back, to laugh and look at the sky.
and you noticed the yin yang, and the certain beauty of the changing leaves.

you let yourself inhale, a delicate splendor, to inspire your thoughts,
the desire to dance, and sing, laugh at whats around you.
and to always imagine,
the faeries, and aurora. and you find it in the sherbet sunset,
like icecream, eye candy, scoops from the sky.

tegan and sara la llaaa to another,
soft voices pleasing my earlobes warmth of lyric touching my skin.

another night passes,
no influence on my brain today, no inhale, to delicate splendor.
but im alright, the sun isnt smiling, but bringing rain after the rain,
its okay. it will all be over wont it?

your touch has me in a cup of jello.
cherry of course.

Thursday | October 11, 2007

this first, this word.

Woke up this morning, and i heard the rain.
walking in it, was held by refrain. so i avoided, what i knew was masked as the rain.
because, there im so anxious, so crowded by everything, that isnt you. so i run away,
and i hide, and i wish that there was something i could do to stop but i cant.

eisleys singing to me, the sweet whisper, anything but faint.
oh, you humor me today.

i wish i could shut up about them, but they wont seem to go away
they were created by the love of you, and its still there it wants to stay.
but why wont you just go away away awa.y

i know i say this but secretly i never want you to leave, to go away from me.
all i desire is your presence i wish i didnt want to be burdened by your splendor,
but it wont stop.

rain fumbles with my mind. save me from the rain,
or do i want to play in it?


standing on the edge, looking down at orange surrounding my feet,
tip toe tip toe.. waves crash into all of me, and i
fall back.. onto a pillow luminated with blue, there they are again,
red butterflies. and once again i smile, the yellow comes back into my face,
eyes deep and green for a limited amount of time. going to a place you
cant find, place of thought, peace of mind.
red butterflies.. red red butterflies..