i feel really cracked out,

this is okay though, when ever i decide to go through

unhealthy points in my life... which tends to happen in the winter,

i find self discovery so i welcome this.

being little is great.

being imaginative is great.

drinking this coffee and staying up all night, is great.

and it's okay that i'm just waiting on something to hate but not i sir, not now.

it was storming so fierce last night, pouring rain and leaves and wind.

it was awesome, because it was still warm. i just wanted to sit outside but it wasn't the time,

seeing as if your at a party you don't just run off, unless you have someone to run off with.

i miss that. meet you by the side of your house, kay? kiss me, kay? i'll be home thanksgiving.. kay?...........

how does your heart feel after that one? ..just wondering

and letting you know that i am like a little girl when it comes to you now, you aren't a stranger, and not exactly an imaginary friend. but man, i still feel like i'm crushing on you. even though i dare to say its stronger than that.

you experience me. you re-live us. you're so happy, and then so sad and thats when you realize i'm not there. Thats when you miss me the most.. desperately. tell me i didn't imagine it. tell me that even though are bodies were in separate states our star selves shared an enchanted place. tell me sometime you had a chill on your shoulder, a flutter in your heart, just a taste of everything. tell me you whispered my name.

i'm creepy but you're cute. and uh 'and shes probably going to cry when she looks at this'

video, i just smile. i have a piece of you.

lets make new memories, okay??

sheesh child what kind of messes have you gotten your pretty little head into?!??
oh and i miss you i miss you i miss you.
sailor moon likes dariens modest mouse i dont know i dont know i dont knwo i think so's.
because i do think so, and i carry you in my heart, i carry you in my pocket, i look at you through my eyelashes, and i snuggle up to you when i sleep.

i was thinking the other day
as i do every day, but i'll never forget that ' I Fucking Miss You '
because it set the eggs sunny side up. but, no really...
what i have been wanting to tell you is..

i appreciate you, i love every breath that comes from you,
i've been almost quite lost in a way this past however long, i can't count the days,
or the ways your mispresence has fucked me sideways.
and i mean that quite literally. jesus, i wanted this to come out better

but you mean the world to me,
you make me litterally happy,
you give the ability to make my world turn upside down,
i knew i still loved you when i read that text and my ears got red, along with my face and my heart started beating so fast... like kissing you for the first time.. you just don't know
i'm going to cry just writing this to you. if you have to be in a slight distance i understand but i think of you so much, and now since you've been slightly gone... i really know what my life is with you.

i fucking love you, i always will
you have saved me jerrod.

distance is trying to make me forget,

and when i first caught sight of it, it had to be the scariest thing

my heart had ever felt or let come to fester. but you make me so damn angry,

enemies are better than strangers huh? I never wanted you to be either, and life

is so fucking strange and like I said I just wanted to find the words to explain everything.

Without being cryptic because i have just read yours i'd like to say.

~ I am so angry at you....

I am so angry at life

I'll never hate you, but i have enough destain of situations to.

and it makes me so mad you see how much perfection you can actually be to those who are oblivious and have no idea of your integrity.

and my god i fucking miss you

and everything is telling me not to. especially the fact you had to get everything off of your chest, i have nothing to say i just want to run up to you and hug you, and if youd like it that way never speak again but you were something real and i fear for the entire mystery of what come next to actually happen.

i still have that string around my wrist,

i still have that necklace on my neck,

i fear to wear that ring so i keep it in my purse,

empador de las narajas hoy has tears in his eyes, and can't remember his smell.

and in all truth i just feel like crying

and you wouldn't know what goes on because i dont want to complain

i just fucking miss you with my whole heart, and wish that

my greatest accomplishment in life wasn't pushing everyone away,

you say you drop someone at the tip of the hat, but i dont even need that tip of the hat, i'm litterally scared of having anyone know me from this point on. i was never afraid of knowing you and now i just need you.

i'm so alone. please.... dont be just a dream you're real you're real.

i got a suprise yesterday, unexpected and a shift of wind, an old old friend.
just to add to the perfections of 3 lit candles and a stick of incense
and my oh my, my cup of coffee is growing cold, but i'm fucked up and i'm tingling and
life needs more moments like this.

life needs bon iver wolves act I and II
and cold fingertips when i'm begging you to kiss them warm, and i can feeeeeeel you
but i cannot see you. its a thought of mine that i'll never quite let you go, so life so my heart, is giving me the chance to always love you, forever.

that secret that you know,
that you don't know how to tell,
it fucks with honor,
and it teases your head,
but you know that its good, boy.
because its running you with read.

aint this just like the present to be showin' up like this?
theres a moon weaning crecent,
we started to kiss.

you break my heart over and over again and you've never even hurt me.
i just miss you, i live for the love you make me feel,
you make me, want to paint.
and sit in my room instead of going to class and being fucked up, and listening to bon iver and romancing myself over a cup of coffee and boniver. i just miss the shit out of you. i do.